He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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