In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
