the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
