He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
