OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize