Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
