I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
