Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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