That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
