So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
either way he was missing a nipple.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize