yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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