I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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