I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize