how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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