He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize