So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
