Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
