Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)

(661): View more from California

should have blown me.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.

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(806): View more from Texas

yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....

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(619): View more from California

There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.

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(404): View more from Georgia

His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky

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(417): View more from Missouri

Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".

(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm fucked.

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(516): View more from New York

Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.

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