Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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