that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
