so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
