he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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