so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Randomize
