dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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