He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
