Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
