I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
