found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize