yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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