The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize