I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
