They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
