Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
