I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
