Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
