I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
