hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
