im drinking this country out of the recession.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize