Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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