Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
