A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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