just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize