I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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