Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
