Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
