I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
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