OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
