he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize