Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
