If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize