I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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