me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
