I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
