Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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