A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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