Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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