okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
