I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
