I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize