i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
