a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
