dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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