The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
