Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
