By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
