Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
