matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
