So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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