He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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